Sick Again

I am sick. Scratchy throat, mucus, and weakened. My children are sick too. However, like usually my wife is still okay. Thank goodness for that. Sometimes I think that she has an immune system clad in titanium.

Something always happens when I get sick. I get VERY complacent, and sometimes just downright mean. I go from almost infinite to almost no patience. Why is that? I don’t feel well, so the last thing I think that I’d want to do is fight. But that is all that I seem to want to do when I’m ill.

The good news is that I think I know what causes this reaction. Fear triggers the fight or flight mechanism in our mind. Depending on the type of fear encountered a person will decide to fight it or flee it.

What does fear have to do with my response to being sick? I have realized that I have a fear of being incapable. I want help when I’m sick, but then again I don’t want it either because I feel that I should be able to do things without help. I don’t want to take medicine either. It makes me aggravated when my wife tells me to take some medicine, or to take a nap because while I know that she’s right, I don’t want to “give up”. I equate “giving up” to being incapable.

And what is my response to this fear?

Fight… I know that my wife is right, and I fight her so that I don’t feel incapable. The problem has been identified. Now it’s time to work on it:

I will accept help when offered.
I will listen to others without being immediately judgmental.
I will identify my fears and work on managing them in a proper way.

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